Monday, March 06, 2006

It will happen to you too

ok this poem does not represent my views or opinion blah blah blah etc. this was written as a concept and should please stay as such (was also lots of fun to write too :)).

this is actually the revised edition and i must give major thanks to Jb for helping me take out the usual choppiness (in this case i wanted a smoother flow).

well enjoy everybody and feel free to comment

The two men in their long black coats grip your arms firmly. You suppress a desire to struggle, knowing deep down that it is hopeless. Slowly you are escorted toward the canopied platform.

Passing amidst the throng you see tears falling from the faces of some. The men hum a somber tune.

Standing upon the platform now, you gaze out at the multitudes that have
come to see this day. The day you leave the world as you know it. The crowd of people who have come to jeer you on this day.
To laugh mockingly that it is finally happening.

Your gaze travels upwards to the canopy. Before your eyes the decorations
Twist and writhe, jerking uncontrollably. Shifting into ugly
Serpents, hungering for your doom.

The crowd parts and a glowing form approaches. A shining specter dressed
mockingly in satin white. Escorted by torch bearing acolytes whose watery eyes you
cannot meet. Your heart stops as they approach your platform.

They begin to circle you, as the men pick up a haunting melody that cuts to your
soul. The metallic taste of adrenaline is on your tongue and your consciousness
buries itself, drowned within your thoughts.

They had warned you. Friends and family all. Some half joking. Others quite serious. Some even pleading.
They warned you that if you were to continue along this path that
you would end up like this. That you would be unable to escape it.

You are about to become like the rest of them. Those you had joked about
privately while drinking with your friends. Secretly fearing that one day it would be you they talked about. Now it is happening to you too.

Fear grips your chest. A chill seeps into your blood even as your heart begins to pound the drumbeat of dread. You choke on your own terror. Your throat convulses in an attempt to scream.

Tentacles that you have avoided in the past have finally found their hold. They squeeze you now with crushing force. Control of your life has been relinquished for all eternity.

Horrified you wish to close your eyes. You don’t though, knowing you’ll find no solace within. Torment and despair are all that’s left for you, haunting your every thought.

Bereft of emotion you stand beneath the veil of stars, a husk devoid of life. Body held rigid by the thought of the horror that is to come.

The figure in white now stands silently at your side. Face hidden by a veil of purest white. Realization smacks you in the face. Taunting that now it is too late.

A golden ring is pressed into your numb fingers. It sears your hand as you mechanically slide it onto the outstretched finger offered to you. Sealing your fate for all time.

Glass shatters beneath your foot bringing this ghastly rite to its climactic
end.

The mob erupts with unbound joy as conscious thought returns. You’re swirling in an emotional typhoon.

The woman beside you tears off her veil. Tears of happiness stream down her beautiful face. Her fierce, proud eyes lock with yours. Electricity laces through your body and you remember now...

This is why it is happening to you too.

11 Comments:

At 11:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

IT'S AWESOME!!

 
At 12:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

aaawww...!!

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger Mimi said...

Rabbi Manis Friedman taught me that if you don't fear marriage, you have no right to get married.

A very brave piece!

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

WOW! really had me hooked there, good thing it had a happy ending or i would have killed ya!

 
At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AWESOME cept i figured it out at the beginning - the canopy gave it away.... otherwise its an amazing piece of writing...cool concept!!!

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger the OTHER roomy said...

first off to all of you - anonymous and others - thanks for the feedback and criticism (they totally fine i really appreciate all)

yeah i had to give some clue to the ending ;)

the real me: interesting thought. although the whole point of the poem is based on those last two paragraphs.

chasidishe Shaigitz: did it just to give you some hope when you finally make it up onto that platform ;) - and if im not invited...

mimi: what is there to fear beside for fear itself. i think the proper term (not to go disagreeing with manis or anything ;)) is respect. i think its more important to respect marraige than it is to fear marriage - im sure you understand the distinction :)

 
At 7:26 PM, Blogger Uncle Sy, said...

Very nice! I like it! You like it? I like it!

 
At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

completely blew my mind...

 
At 7:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I just say "wow"? Great composition, L, a little freaky...

The one part I did not like:
The line... "serpents, hungering for your doom" or whatever:
WHAT IS WITH YOU AND DOOM...

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger the OTHER roomy said...

nighttime: wow that was profound. really enjoyed yours as well.

cavzed: well i hope that when it gets back we can discuss the finer points ;)

footch: you know i am doomed to get married one day - if anyone will still marry me after seeing this post ;)
and whats wrong with serpents? they have cool tongues, sweet colors (sometimes) and can eat an entire goat in one sitting... what's there not to love??? ;)

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger the OTHER roomy said...

for shiz dude. thanks. hear you make cool dream proposal (like to read).
yeah. send me copy of what you write.

 

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